Comfortably Numb

I walk the winding road of loss, going back and forth, back and forth, in circles. Round and round and round, until I'm confused between myself and the ghost of my past. I have nothing more to lose, except myself. Nothing more to give, except myself. 

Until finally, suddenly, the path gives way, and I fall into the ditch of indifference, remembering my past self distinctly - who I was just a second ago, before I fell into this abyss - me, whose brain was riddled with mourning and sad, the offspring of loss.

Oh, and then, this heavenly abyss - indifference. Finally, comfort envelops me and my brain can't feel a thing, devoid of all discouraging emotions... that thin line between heavy loss and indifference, crossed, until I'm numb.

Comfortably numb.

That heavenly flight in the heavenly skies of love shining with stars of imagination... the gleam of those dreams taunting me wherever I fly. I slowly grow the wings, wings of the hopes for a better future. Waving them about in delight weaving tales unheard, I hear a sudden ring.

I try to move my wings to my ears, to shield them from the deafening, frightening roar, only to find bloody shreds in place of those wings. All the hopes, all that love, dripping to the ground I can't fathom. Expectations only lead to a sad disappointment... let me forget this, let me think this never happened...

Slowly, reluctantly, I fall to the ground, into a deep pool of forgetfulness, where I sink to the bottom and memories flow to the surface like bubbles. That roar, it showed me reason, making me cross the threshold of that lovely water of forgetfulness. The water holds me up like a hero, comforting me, washing away all emotions, numbing me. My mind, my fingers, all are numb.

Comfortably numb.

I am a star... that star burning with the embers of life. The heat, the adventure, I'm finally as large as life. Outside, I might be raging with storms and flares, but inside, I'm still young, and want to remain young. Until...

The most fascinating thing about life is that even though it can drag on for years and years, it takes just a second to end. The boundary between life and death, that thin line between reality and dream, scaled in just a second.

All I know is darkness. Or is it nothingness? After all, I'm a hole. A black hole, destroying all light that is life, crushing all my surroundings, sucking them into the mourning... the mourning of death. Relaxed, I am. Yet I feel no life, no charm of unpredictability. Without life, it's numb.

Comfortably numb.